Just strolling along...

I have always just written to write, possibly with no focus or purpose, or maybe there was. It has been hard for me to realize what writers go through as they write and make revisions. I don't exactly know what I thought, maybe it was that published writers just wrote and everything came out perfect, no major revisions, no sitting around finding a focus, analysing each word and paragraph... I thought it came naturally to them. I thought that while I was reading all of these books, novels, short stories, etc... that the way everything fit perfectly might have been a major coincidence. I couldn't have conceive the amount of thought that goes into their works... I have a greater respect for writers now. Just wanted to share. :)

Blog 18

My writing has always been a way to work things out in my mind, it kept my sanity and helped me get my emotions out without having to burden others with my problems. I sometimes feel that people are so self involved and would much rather talk about themselves and therefore I have always taken on the role of listener.

I need to spend time on form and reflection, I think that I learned alot about that from this class. and although i have to admit that I have realized from this course is that unless I am inspired by something I can't write just to meet a deadline... I get stumped and then I think too much about it and too much into it that I just can't do it! It was very frustrating to me because I was so excited about taking this class and I feel that what I have written is not my best work, at all!

At this point, I feel that I am not ready for any sort of writing group. As I stated above when it comes to creativity I can not have a set time to meet and read work. It would prob stress me out knowing that I had an obligation to go weekly. I think if anything I would do something casual like go read something I wrote, that I felt proud of, at an open mic one night on a whim, that is more me.

I am not sure what I want to do in the future. I thought I wanted to go into teaching but I am not sure. And as far as using my writing in the future I'm completely unsure. haha... lots of uncertainty for this response. All I can say is that I will keep writing when I am inspired and see what happens and where it will take me.

I would like to write personal essays, life, love, happiness, sadness, very emotion, real and raw. I am a very honest person especially in my writing I don't hold back. I tell the truth especially when it comes to how I feel about things... I am true to myself.

Right now the only publication that I am going to send out is my personal essay to Literal Latte. As far as for the future it possibly might be just for the people around me... as Prof Chandler was just saying in class. I think that at this point I am more comfortable with that.

Nature Essay

Nature Essay- I started writing about the Christmas trees then it went in a totally different direction and focus than my original plan. I don’t think it’s much of a nature essay but if you could give me some feedback that would be great. Thank you.


I get out of my car and walk towards the entrance. I walk the wrong way at first and am blocked by a large metal fence. I giggle and think to myself that I hope no one has seen my mistake. I turn around a head towards the area where I think is the entrance. I reach my destination and walk inside. Hundreds of Christmas trees surround me. Some were wrapped up in netting and some are loosely displayed. I take a walk around once and just look at them. They all look the same and I am ready for the employee to come over and help me. I know exactly what I want, “A tree not too big but not too small, full and pretty.” I don’t want to be difficult it will be an easy choice. There is only one employee to help the flocks of people that are walking in to buy the perfect tree. I stand to the side and wait for him. He notices me waiting and says, “Sorry, I’ll be right with you, you’re next, I promise.” I was in no rush so I stood there patiently. More and more people started to come in and they looked around, touching and opening up the trees, admiring their beauty and with precision choosing the perfect one for their homes. Once they had selected it, they went to the front and the one employee helped them. I waited and waited some more. I decided to take another look, it seemed so important to the other families to look at every tree and select “the one.” I wanted that too. I walked around this time and touched the branches. As my fingers grazed the pine needles, they swayed with my touch and some of the needles fell to the ground. They were not secure enough to hold on to the branch. I realized that some needles were longer and thicker than on other trees. Some trees were fuller than others were and everyone wanted those; no one wanted a sparse tree.

There was only one available spot to park and of course it was half a block away from my apartment. I got out of the car, said, “I can do this”, and unlocked all the doors. I took out a pair of little scissors I had, opened the back door. I hoisted myself up with both arms and then let go of one. With that one hand, I cut the strings that held the Christmas tree on the roof of my car. I slid it down the one side of my car, it toppled over and wow was it heavy. Was I going to make it half a block and then up two flights of stairs with a seven-foot tree? I was going to try. I started strong; I held it tight with both hands and lifted it up. I got pretty far before I had to put it down. I was tangled in it. The netting around the tree was caught on my jacket buttons. We were stuck together so I untwisted it and kept going. It kept happening repeatedly. I lugged it all the way up, by myself. I was so exhausted but the excitement in my feat overpowered that.

I placed the tree in its stand; I stood back and looked at it. It was beautiful but there were things that I was now noticing that I didn’t when I first picked it out. Each pine needle was individually attached to its branch. At the end of the branch there was a small cluster of small bulbs, it was as if a flower could sprout from it. In the inside, I found a dried up leaf. At first, it looked like a shriveled up piece of cigar paper. As I unrolled it I noticed the lines in the leaf, they were faint but still there. It was dead. The heart shape it once possessed crumbled into a million small pieces as I was holding it. I looked inside the branches for more signs of the trees natural surrounding but there were no more to be found. The branches at the top of the tree were very close together making it hard to see inside to the base of the tree. The branches at the bottom are sparse and the base is exposed. At the stump of the tree, there is a secretion of sap oozing out of the bark. It leaves me feeling melancholy. I lean down and touch it. It makes my fingers sticky and as I rub them together, the sap turns brown.

Blog 16

Whats the most important thing that you learned about writing in this course?

I learned a great deal about structure! I feel that that is so important. Before this class I had no idea about segments, focus, reflection...ect.

What did I learn about writing one of my papers?

In my personal essay I learned a lot in my consult with Prof. Chandler. I think that really helped me the most to understand what I was lacking in the piece. I don't feel that my peers gave me much feedback or direction. I like to know what people think honestly and what I can change to make it better for the reader. It's hard to analyse your own work because you are to personally involved in it.

Which paper was the hardest to write?

Ha ha... The Nature essay. and since I am still having trouble with it, it is not a surprise that I would have choose it as the one I didn't like. I am in life, not in nature...at least that's how I feel, but I am sure the truth is that I am in Nature more than I think. I'm living on this earth, life(nature wise) is everywhere but I can't seem to relate it to anything. It gives me a headache to think about a correlation or metaphor.

What do I want to say in my reflective essay?

I want to show the process that I took to write prob my personal essay, if not my journalistic piece, we'll see, but I feel that I still have so much more work to do on my pieces that I don't know if I can show this to the correct advantage.

What don't I want to write about?

Nature essay
memoir because I feel that these don't have enough to say... i didn't work on them as much.

Lit Journalism Piece

This is just what I have so far... there is def more to come very soon. I thought it would be interesting to write about something that was on my "things I would never write about" list...look at me taking chances. :)


I’m sitting in between all these crazy people. I just don’t get them at all. They stare and scream as if it is the end of the world. I think to myself, “So your teams not winning, who cares, and seriously, it’s not the end of the world!” I wouldn’t dare say that out loud here, in their territory, or they might come after me with pitch forks and blazing torches. I am afraid of these stat talking, jersey wearing, beer drinking, intense football fans. I sit quietly, hands folded, uncomfortably smiling as if I know what’s going on.

"I swear all you guys ever talk about are sports, don't you ever get tired of it?" I know I do! But that was a dumb question and so the following one probably was also, "Why is it that you like this so much?"
One of the guys answered, "If you think that this is bad then you need to wait until baseball season, this is nothing, you haven't seen obsessed."
If this wasn't obsession then I couldn't tell Adam from Eve. These were my friends and they were all sports fans, if I would have found out during the screening process I'm sure I wouldn't have let them through but somehow we ended up here, at a sports bar. (Macho, macho, macho men, I want to beeeeeeee a macho man) watching the game.
Guy #2 looked at me and shook his head slightly, "Your just not a fan so you'll never understand."
"Ok, so why don't you tell me?" Personally I don't think that I could ever enjoy watching football, I'm just not interested in what team won, who did this, who made that play...blah blah blah...he was probably right I would never get it, "So don't you feel like it takes up entirely too much time out of your life always needing to watch and keep track?" I continued, "Is the reason you like it because football is a type of security blanket, they are a constant in your life, like they will always be there no matter what, every Sunday and Monday?" I just needed some psychological reason why, why, why?
Everyone starts yelling, "Yeah!!!" People are cheering, clapping, giving each other high fives, low fives, wedgies, wet willies, all while wetting their pants with excitement. At this point Guy #2 stopped listening to what I was saying...

Blog 15

how did I start?
I started by brainstorming, forming an outline about the specific scenes that I would write about and also the order.

when did I figure out my focus?
I knew my focus from the beginning because I knew the scene that I was going to place and the end would tie the story together and create a sense of peace at the end.

what did I leave out? what did I change? what did I emphasize?
In my first draft I left out scenes such as the funeral and the day that I received the call telling me what had happened. Also some descriptions about Crystal that were important to the story. I received this advice from the prof and after I made these revisions the whole piece came together. It is much stronger that the original draft. I didn't think that those scenes were important in my initial brainstorming but now I see that they are essential to the essay. I still have much work that needs to be done in order to get it to where I would like it but step by step and it will eventually get there.

where did I get stuck and how did I get unstuck?
I was stuck in thinking that the essay had to be a shock to the reader but then I realized that it doesn't have to be that way for the reader to enjoy the piece.

what were my major revisions?
The segments were my major revision but there will be more changes to come in order for it to be 100% ready for me to send it out the publishers.

how did my life (not on the page) affect my writing process?
It is hard to find the right words to express how you feel because when it is actually happening the emotions are so raw and real. When you are writing from memory it is different. It is not as clear and intense, the feelings have settled a bit and you have had time to process the information, to think about it, and think about it some more and then re think about it.

where and when did I write my best? what time?
I right the best when I am in the moment. When the emotions are so painful and so strong that the only remedy is to write about what I am feeling. I actually have several journal entries about my essay topic that I was thinking about using but I didn't know if they would fit it.

how did I use thinking, talking and writing to develop my paper?
I asked my sister to read my paper and she gave me some good advise and also prof.

how did I know when I was finished and how did I decide where to start?
I started with the end (of a life) and ended with the beginning (of a new understanding).

Blog 14

Ordered List of what I did to develop my writing for one of my assignments

Personal Essay
1. Brainstormed: made a list of possible topics (things we wanted to write about and things we would never write about)
2. Decided on a topic that was personal but that I needed to explore
3. I made a list of relevant events that might be included in my story
4. I narrowed my list to 3 specific events that I could tie together but still keep the story in a segmented format.
5. I decided on an order for my segments that would be successful to the overall meaning of the essay
6. I began to write about these events.
7. I re-read and revised before posting.
8. I met with Prof Chandler and she gave me insight on what I could fix to make the piece stronger.
9. I added more segments about different events that took place and changed the order of the segments.
10. I proof read and posted final copy.
11. The end.